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Picture of Colbert


Friend of Jon Stewart

NPR Lover

Weird French Pronunciation

Stephen Colbert's Skeleton Closet: Scandals, Quotes, and Character

Sure, Stephen Colbert -- who London's Telegraph newspaper calls "the second most important idiot in America" -- has managed to get a righteous political talk show on liberal Comedy Central, and he has no political experience -- one of the main qualifications for a modern presidential candidate. But when you dig beneath the surface a little, there are strong indications that he's not a real, reliable movement conservative.

This "performer" is openly friendly with notorious liberal Jon Stewart. He pals around with arch-liberal, feminist Terry Gross on NPR of all networks. He sings show tunes in public, like "actors" (if you know what I'm saying). And he insists on pronouncing his name with a phony "French" pronunciation, using a silent T, as if he were a cheese eating surrender monkey, not a lover of freedom fries. Yet he still insists that he is a "well-intentioned, poorly informed, high-status idiot."


"The truthiness is, anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you.” -- Colbert, on the first episode of his show

"If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.” -- Stephen Colbert

“There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.” -- Colbert

"A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?" -- Guess who

"The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear.” -- Really, are you not seeing the pattern here?

"Oliver Cromwell can kiss my singing emerald scrotum!" -- Every good Irish person. And also, Stephen Colbert

"I'm disappointed that my own Catholic Church has decided that capital punishment is wrong. Which is pretty hypocritical if you think about it, because they wouldn't even have a religion if it wasn't for capital punishment." -- FIGURE IT OUT

-- Quote Sources

Friend of Notorious Liberal Jon Stewart

Stephen Colbert owes a lot to liberal icon Jon Stewart, which makes you wonder. Why would an arch-socialist give a good conservative like Colbert his start, and then help him get his own show? Then, Colbert named Stewart as head of his super PAC, which raised over $1 million, and spent $150,000 -- including $2,000 to his own bosses. The Christian Science Monitor wrote: "Yes, the FEC report lists a $2,000 payment to Comedy Partners, the corporate subsidiary which operates the Comedy Central network on which Colbert’s show appears. Payoff? Hush money? Bribe?"

NPR Lover

It's bad enough for a blowhard hard-right cable host to appear on NPR, the most lamestream of lamestream media. And worse, he was on showtune-loving Terry Gross' show, Fresh Air. (Confusingly, despite loving Broadway musicals and 1940s movies, Gross refuses to be a homosexual man. And because it's a radio show, there is no way to tell if she is a young mean hot blonde, the only approved role for women on good conservative networks.)

But it gets worse. Colbert was on Fresh Air to brag about SINGING and ACTING in a Broadway musical, just like a thespian. He apparently thinks no one who matters will hear something he says on a liberal network, so he can send out his dog whistles in secret. But Skeleton Closet researchers have no fear, we will go place you dare not tread to chase down this sort of scandalous behavior!!

Weird French Pronunciation

As if his questionable associates are not a big enough concern, Colbert blatantly pronounces his name with an unAmerican, foreign, and worst of all FRENCH pronunciation. Just like the people of FRANCE, who refuse to use the term "Freedom Fries" and dared question the wisdom of invading Iraq. Apparently he wants to be the Johnny Halladay of politics. As if! -- Sources


Quote Sources -- Back

"Reporter Guy", by by David Remnick The New Yorker, July 25, 2005

"The Real Stephen Colbert," by Cate Plys, Northwestern Magazine, Winter 2010

"Stephen Colbert: the second most powerful idiot in America," by Steven Daly, The Telegraph, 18 May 2008

Stephen Colbert => quotes, GoodReads web site

ScandalSources -- Back, By MIKE ALLEN, Politico, 1/12/12

What did Stephen Colbert super PAC spend its money on?, by Peter Grier, The Christian Science Monitor, February 1, 2012

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Copyright 2012 Mark Saltveit. Photograph of Colbert By Cliff1066 and licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic, via Wikimedia Commons