{"id":16,"date":"2012-10-25T07:56:16","date_gmt":"2012-10-25T16:56:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/?p=16"},"modified":"2012-12-02T11:17:24","modified_gmt":"2012-12-02T20:17:24","slug":"after-the-second-debate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/after-the-second-debate\/","title":{"rendered":"After the Second Debate: A Palindromic Play"},"content":{"rendered":"

SCENE ONE<\/strong><\/p>\n

(The site of the second presidential debate, October 2012.\u00a0 Mitt Romney, at his podium, is launching into the mighty conclusion of his closing speech.\u00a0 It does not come out the way he planned.)<\/p>\n

MITT<\/p>\n

Emote! Vote Mitt Romney, odd doyen Mort. Time to veto me.<\/strong>
\n(The debate is over; everyone is confused.\u00a0 Frustrated over the gaffe, Romney and Paul Ryan leave the debate hall abruptly while reporters scramble to identify the mysterious Mort and figure out what a doyen is.)<\/p>\n

MSNBC ANNOUNCER<\/p>\n

Mood dim as senile Mitt Romney, odd elf, fled doyen Mort — timeliness amid doom.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nSCENE TWO<\/strong>
\n(The parking lot outside the debate hall.\u00a0 Romney paces around, embarrassed and unloading to a sympathetic Ryan, whose nickname \u2013 surprisingly \u2013 is Mama.)<\/p>\n

MITT<\/p>\n

Red? I redden, won eraser. Obama, Mama, bores a renowned derider.<\/strong>
\n(Ryan, forgetting that his boss doesn\u2019t drink, asks Mitt to join him in a glass of white wine. Romney actually considers it for a moment.)<\/p>\n

\nIn a Chardonnay, Ryan? (Nod.) Rah! Can I?<\/strong>
\n(Actually, he can\u2019t.\u00a0 Suddenly, they hear voices approaching.\u00a0 Romney motions for silence; they step into shadow and watch.\u00a0 Bill and Hillary Clinton walk by without noticing them.\u00a0 Bill is bragging about his post-presidential diplomatic efforts.)<\/p>\n

\u00a0BILL<\/p>\n

Egats! O, hot Diana Rigg, I ran aid to hostage.<\/strong><\/p>\n

HILLARY<\/p>\n

Huh?<\/strong>
\n(She is lost in thought, still frustrated over her failed attempts to remove Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad from power.)<\/p>\n

\nAiry, snide, I died in Syria.<\/strong>
\n(Meanwhile, Joe Biden and Barack Obama are walking out of the hall. Biden is reminiscing about the night\u2019s dinner.)<\/p>\n

JOE<\/p>\n

We had Alaska yak salad. Ah! (Ew.)<\/strong><\/p>\n

BARACK (distracted)<\/p>\n

Yak? Okay.<\/strong>
\n(Suddenly, the four candidates find themselves face to face in the dimly-lit parking lot.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s awkward, so Ryan tries to break the ice by explaining himself in a friendly manner.)<\/p>\n

PAUL<\/p>\n

I tan.\u00a0 I mull.\u00a0 In a way, Obama, I am a boy \u2013 a wan illuminati.<\/strong><\/p>\n

BARACK<\/p>\n

Nay, Ryan.<\/strong>
\n(The younger Ryan is offended by the President\u2019s dismissal.\u00a0 He responds with a schoolboy taunt.)<\/p>\n

PAUL<\/p>\n

Deep in age? Veer gay, Obama? (Mama boy!) Agree, vegan? (I peed.)<\/strong>
\n(An expert on the President’s proclivities appears and rejects the accusation.)<\/p>\n

MICHELLE OBAMA<\/p>\n

Nay, Ryan.<\/strong>
\n(Biden retaliates with more passion than insight, attacking the Republican nominees for advocating increased trade with Japan in Japan\u2019s currency, the Yen.)<\/p>\n

JOE<\/p>\n

Yen, morons? No, Romney<\/strong>
\n(The President muses aloud that this line of attack might actually be effective.)<\/p>\n

BARACK<\/p>\n

Yen mortify, fit Romney.<\/strong>
\n(As tempers flare, the challenger mocks our unemotional President for proposing increased research funding.)<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>MITT
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yo, boffo rot! I detest Obama. R&D? Drama-bot set editor off. O, boy.<\/strong>
\n(The play ends with the two nominees marching off in opposite directions, each vowing to crush his opponent in the next debate, using the same\u00a0 words.)<\/p>\n

MITT and BARACK (in unison)<\/p>\n

To the war! Data maims. I lob my snide lie, veiled in symbolism. I am a tad raw, eh, tot?<\/strong><\/p>\n

CURTAIN<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 — Mark Saltveit, the reigning World Palindrome Champion, is a comedian and writer based in Portland, OR.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SCENE ONE (The site of the second presidential debate, October 2012.\u00a0 Mitt Romney, at his<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":42,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,13],"tags":[16,15,17,476,14,10,18],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":126,"href":"https:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16\/revisions\/126"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/42"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.realchange.org\/taoish\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}